


Same as I never was

by HareLeona



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blindness, Brotherhood, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e21 Same As It Never Was, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Future, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Same As It Never Was, Self-Destruction, Self-Discovery, Self-Reflection, Spiritual, Tequila, blind, dark future, do you know yourself?, self-knowning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25131994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HareLeona/pseuds/HareLeona
Summary: During a fight, a Kraang transports Leo into another world. There, he meets a familiar man and asks his help. While he's trying to send Leo back, Leo can experience how much a person can change.
Relationships: Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & April O'Neil & Raphael (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael & Splinter (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo (TMNT), Karai/Leonardo (TMNT), Leonardo & Leonardo (TMNT), Leonardo & Michelangelo (TMNT), Leonardo & Raphael (TMNT), Leonardo & Splinter (TMNT)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 65





	1. 1

**1**

* * *

**“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”**

**\- Aristotle-**

* * *

When Raphael opened his eyes, he noticed one green form leaning above him.

"Raphie! Are you awake?" a voice asked cheerfully. It rang through Raph's head. _Oh, damn, Mikey_ , he thought. "Donnie! Sensei! Raph's awake!"

He could hear as footsteps were approaching him. Soon, two new forms blocked his vision.

"Raph, how are you? Does anything hurt?"

_What do you think, Donnie?_

"Ugh," was all he said.

"My son, I am glad to see you awake," said a gentle voice.

_I'd rather be asleep, Sensei..._

"Don..."

"Yes? Do you need a painkiller?"

"What happened?" he opened his eyes fully.

"The Kraangs! Bro, it was horrible! They outnumbered us!" Mikey whined.

_Ah, really, it rings a bell._ He looked over the faces. Donnie wore his doctor-face, he was ready to act, grab medicine, cut him up, anything. Though the image of him being cut up, made him cringe. But there was something wrong with him. Like Donnie was hiding something. Mikey grinned. He was happy that Raph woke up. However, Raph noticed something in his eyes. Something, that wasn't part of the happiness. _Is he sad? Why? Do I look that bad?_ he frowned and looked at his father. His smile was warm, but the same expression was shining in his eyes. _I wonder how Leo's looking at me. I bet he's not even smiling. He's ready to lecture me._ He looked to his father's right, but there was nobody. _Huh? Where's Leo?_ He started to sit up.

"Oh, easy, Raph," Donnie gripped him and helped him with this movement. When Raph was sitting steadily, he looked around. _He's not here. What the shell? Is he that mad at me?_

"Where's Leo?" he asked and saw as the others tensed. "Hey, I asked something. Where is he?" Mikey and Donnie glanced at one another dolefully. _Oh my, he's not injured, is he? Or...no, he can't be dead!_ "Where. Is. Leonardo?"

"Well..." Donnie started. "We don't know."

"What? How can't you know?" Raph demanded.

"When we woke up, he was nowhere to be found. It was only you lying on the rooftop," Donnie explained.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Raph was ready to jump off the cot, but Donnie's hands were pressed against his shoulders and stopped him.

"You need to rest, Raph."

"My shell! I'm fine! Just some bruises and whatever."

"And a big dump on your head. You have a concussion," Donnie said firmly. "Rest. After that, we'll go looking for Leo."

"After that?" Raph fumed. "Who knows what will happen to Leo until then!"

"Raphael, Donatello is right. I am not allowing you to go to the surface until you are feeling better," Master Splinter spoke. "Furthermore, it is daylight."

"But Sensei! Leo needs us!"

"I know. I am worried, too. However, we need to wait, my son."

Raph wasn't satisfied with it, but he had no other choice. He slowly lay down to sleep a bit, so his family can't say that he didn't rest, and then go for Leo. What a plan.

* * *

When Raphael woke up, nobody was in the lab. He sat up with the help of his arms and carefully rose to his feet. He felt a little dizzy, but it won't stop him from looking for his brother. He stepped to the door and left the lab slowly. He walked towards the kitchen from where he heard noises. He stopped at the door and cleared his throat.

"Raph!" Donnie jumped up. "You should rest!"

"I've rested enough. Let's go!"

"But Raph," before Donnie could continue, Raph interrupted him.

"I'm going with or without you guys." and with that, he left.

Donnie and Mikey looked at each other.

"He won't rest," Mikey stated.

"I know," Donnie sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Shouldn't we go after him?"

"We should..." Donnie replied and climbed to his feet. "Let's go"

* * *

It was getting dark, but it was still earlier than their usual patrol time.

"Raph, slow down!" Donnie yelled after his red-clad brother.

"Hurry up, guys!" Raph yelled back and started to run faster.

They were jumping roof to roof until Raph suddenly stopped.

"We were fighting here, weren't we?"

"Yes, we were. But it looks clean now." Donnie said.

"What do you remember, guys?"

"We were after a mutagen ooze when the Kraangs attacked us. We were fighting and I remember being hit in the head."

"Same here dudes," Mikey said. "They totally outnumbered us. And they have totally trained, 'cause they were so much better than last time."

"I only remember the start of the fight. What happened to Leo? Was he knocked down too?"

"In my last memory, he was fine and fighting," Donnie answered.

"Same here," Mikey added.

"We gotta break into the TCRI."

"What?" Donnie and Mikey shouted in unison.

"It's obvious: the Kraangs kidnapped Leo and now he's being held in the TCRI. Where else could he be?"

"Perhaps..." _No, no. It's better not to think about it_ , Donnie thought.

"Perhaps what?" Raph asked.

"Nothing," Donnie replied hastily.

"Donnie. I strongly advise you to tell us what you're thinking of before I beat it out of you."

Donnie gulped and looked away.

"Donatello," Raph warned him in a dangerously low tone.

"I just thought about what if the Kraangs gave Leo to the... Shredder."

"The Shredder? Oh no!" Mikey shouted.

"Because the Kraangs are Shredder's allies," Donnie continued. "And Shredder hates us, especially Leo, since he's the leader, and perhaps he believes that he can get us and Master Splinter by Leo being the bait."

"So... what now?" Mikey asked.

"Let's start with the TCRI?" Donnie looked at Raph questioningly.

"Let's start with the TCRI," Raph nodded.

* * *

"It's getting light," Donnie said. "We should head home."

"But we haven't checked Shredder's lair yet," Raph replied.

"We have no time for it now. We can come back at night."

"Leo has no time for waiting!" Raph said louder.

"Donnie's right, Raph," Mikey spoke calmly. "We can be easily seen. Plus, I guess, Master Splinter is already mad at us for coming up without his permission."

Raph clenched his fists and turned around. He looked at the high buildings in front of him and watched as the Sun started to wake the city up.

"Raph?" Mikey asked uncertainly.

Raphael released a sigh, as he turned to his brothers. "Alright, let's go home." He didn't want to, he didn't like it, but he had to accept his defeat.

The road seemed extremely long and quiet to the turtles. Raphael's head was throbbing and his whole body was praying for a little rest. Raph knew that he needed to sleep, but this was the last thing he wanted to do. He had to find his brother! No matter what!

Donatello's face showed concern. He was anxious about his brother's wellbeing. When he realized his older brother wasn't with them on that roof, he started to panic. He was the first who wake up. As the family doctor and genius, he felt ashamed that he didn't know what to do. But then, Mikey opened his eyes, and he pulled out his calm face and covered his fearful one. He had to support Mikey, both physically and mentally.

Michelangelo didn't notice at first. He saw the slightly injured Donnie who immediately helped him up. Then, Raph's unmoving body caught his attention. His stomach twisted as he was approaching his strong big brother who was lying helplessly and unconsciously. But he believed that Raph would be fine. He planned to bake a pizza for his brothers at home. As he helped Donnie to lift Raph up, the thought came to his mind: why wasn't Leo helping?

_"You won't help, Leo?" he asked half-teasingly, half-seriously. But Leo didn't answer._

_"He's not here, Mikey," Donnie replied._

_"Where is he? Did he go for help?"_

_"No..." Donnie sighed sorrowfully. "He disappeared."_

_And at this moment, he lost his appetite._

The boys were frustrated as they got home. But this disappointment turned into slight fear when they saw their father at the entrance.

"Um, Sensei!" Donnie exclaimed. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Why were you not in the lair?" he asked angrily.

"Well, Sensei, we were... um..."

"We were looking for Leo," Raph interrupted his purple-clad brother.

"Why did you not inform me about this?"

"Raph just ran off and we had to follow him," Mikey said. Raph snapped his head towards him, narrowed his eyes, and crossed his arms.

"Well yeah, since nobody cared to find Leo. Somebody had to do it!"

"Raph, we want to find Leo just like you, but you were and still are injured. And we weren't in our best shape either. We needed time to recover," Donnie snapped back.

"So you just want to sit here, watching TV and eating pizza, while Leo's being tortured and who knows what the Shredder is doing with him right now!" Raph yelled.

"The Shredder?" Master Splinter's eyes grow wide.

"We didn't find Leo at the TCRI. So, we thought, perhaps the Kraangs gave Leo to the Shredder," Donnie explained.

Suddenly, the old rat felt sick. He was already worried about what the Kraangs wanted to do with his son, but now, that he learned, that his precious, beloved son might be at the Shredders... he wanted to run to the Shredder's hideout and protect his baby boy, but he couldn't. He had to keep his sanity and give wise advice to his sons.

"Go and rest now, my sons," He said finally. "We will continue the searching tomorrow."

Now, they didn't protest and actually obeyed their father.

_'We are going to find you, Leonardo.'_


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, you are in New York," he started, and Leo's gasp interrupted him. "What? First time in New York?"  
> "No," he answered firmly. "I live in New York. I've always lived in New York. But this city... this can't be New York. New York isn't a dead city."

**2**

* * *

**“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.”**

**-Lao Tzu-**

* * *

What happened?

A low moan escaped his throat as he tried to open his eyes. He expected the light to burn his eyes, but instead of that, the darkness filled his vision. For a minute, he panicked. Did he go blind? He jolted up to a sitting position, but he quickly regretted it when the pain raced through his body. He jerked his hand to his left side, and he felt as the blood flowed over his fingers.

"What the...?" his hoarse voice came as a whisper. He lifted his gaze and blinked a few times. Suddenly, he noticed some boxes surrounding him. He sighed in relief. He wasn't blind! A large gray drapery hid the broken window. Leo crawled to the closest box, and with the help of it, he stood up. This action was painful, and he hissed, while he was trying to steady himself. He stepped to the wall and walked towards the window. When he reached it, he drew the curtain and looked out. He could see well, though the Sun was hidden behind the dark orange clouds. It was like the air got infected by a deadly disease.

"Where am I?" he wondered aloud. He bent his eye ridges, and with the wall's support, he walked to the wooden door. As he stepped in front of it, he took a deep breath, and with a shift move, he pushed the door open. As soon as he left the old building, and the strange light touched his body, he took a closer look at his wound. He was relieved to see that it wasn't as bad as he thought at first. But it needed treatment. By who? He had no idea where he was, and he had to admit, he wasn't the best doctor in the world. But he couldn't let it go worse, he had to prevent the infection, if it wasn't too late. But how? With what?

He felt dizzy. It was a long day, definitely. Although, he didn't even remember what had happened. After a few footfalls, he fell onto his knees. _A little rest won't hurt,_ he thought.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Leo jumped up, startled, and fell onto his shell. _Ouch!_ He didn't have time to cry over his pain and discomfort, he had to get away. Immediately!

Suddenly, a figure ran to him, grabbed his left arm, and dragged him behind the building. He opened a trapdoor on the ground and pushed Leo in. The stranger followed him down on the ladder. The door was closed, and the two creatures stood in the middle of the... well, Leo didn't know. It was dark again.

_BOOM!_

The floor shook a little.

"They will go away soon," a deep voice said.

"Who are they?" Leo asked quietly.

"Soldiers," he sighed.

"Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"But still... you saved me."

"Well... you can call me Tequila," his voice was full of resignation and hidden sadness. "If you want."

"Okkkaayyy," Leo started uncertainly. “I’m-“

“Shh!” Tequila hushed him as he focused on the sounds.

A few minutes later, Leo dared to ask. "So... can we turn on the lights or something?"

"Oh, I totally forgot about that," he replied a little bit surprised.

"How? You open your eyes and see the darkness. How could you forget that it's dark here?" Leo asked wonderingly.

"I open my eyes and see the darkness, as you said. This is what I see every day," he answered bitterly.

"You, you mean...?"

"I'm blind, yes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay," he thought for a moment. "Are you a mutant?"

Leo jerked his head towards the direction he thought Tequila was. "Y-yes."

"You don't have to be afraid. I am one too. Judging by your smell and skin, you are a reptile, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm a mutant turtle," Leo answered, proudly.

"Turtle, huh," Tequila huffed.

"What, What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

Tequila didn't answer. He was listening to something else. For a minute, silence settled over them.

"Let's go," he said and started to climb up the ladder. Leo followed him closely, he didn't want to get lost. Soon, the trapdoor was opened again, and the bigger man jumped out and pulled the smaller one out. "They are gone."

Leo looked up and down at him. He was tall like really tall. Leo didn't even reach his shoulders, though it wasn't too far from Leo's head, still, Leo's neck cracked when he looked at his face. What caught his attention first was the huge and deep scars all over his head. He cringed when he thought about how he could got them. Tequila was wearing black glasses. They were between the sunglasses and the goggles. He had a long, black pea coat. Leo noticed the swords hanging on his side. Then, he remembered. Where were his swords? They weren't on his shell, and he didn't see them after he woke up. Where did he leave them?

He brushed the thought off, he can find them later. He looked at the man again. He had green skin, scales, and no hair. Tequila was a reptile too, it wasn't a question. But what kind of reptile? He didn't have a tail, or if he did, it wasn't long. He couldn't see his chest because of the coat, and his hands were hidden in his pockets.

"Why are you staring at me?" he asked suddenly. Leo was uprooted from his thoughts, and a little " _huh?_ " came out of his mouth. "Am I this beautiful?" his sarcastic voice ended with a sardonic chuckle.

"No. I mean not that you're ugly, but not that you are beautiful, I mean, you look good, no, I didn't mean it that way, don't get me wrong, I'm not gay, just, um," Leo gabbled nervously.

"It's okay, kid, I was just joking," Tequila let small laughter to escape. "Anyway, you are too young for me," he smirked, then turned around. "Follow me," he continued in a serious tone. "You need some fixing."

While Tequila was heading somewhere, at a rapid pace, Leo was trying to keep up. When he managed to reach him, he asked.

"Where are we going?"

"To my hideout," he said and turned left. As Leo looked around, he could see that there was nobody on the streets. It was daylight, and he could walk around with another mutant, and nobody was there to be shocked. What the shell?

"So, do you trust me?"

"I don't trust you," he turned right. "But it would be a shame if you bleed to death at this young age."

Soon, they arrived at an empty building. Tequila conducted Leo to a door that hid the stairs, which was leading them down. As their feet touched the ground, Tequila turned the lights on for Leo. They were in a quite big room. There was a couch, in front of it was a coffee table, and next to the table, a bigger desk. On it was a small TV, and a radio. Next to the 'living room' was the 'kitchen', a table, three chairs, oven, sink, and a few shelves with plates and glasses. Nearby was the miniature fridge. Leo followed Tequila to the double door, which was after the kitchen. The older opened it and let Leo in. This room was bigger than the first one. It was some kind of lab. As he looked around, he noticed things that he'd seen before in Donnie's lab. Though it was a cool lab, it wasn't as cool as Donnie's. There were two beds in the room. One of them was a cot, and the other one was normal. Behind the normal bed was an empty space.

"Why is it there empty?" Leo asked.

"I needed a place to train. It's not big, but more than nothing," he said. "Now, get on the cot."

Leo did as he was told, and Tequila sat in front of him on a chair, cleaned and stitched up his wound, then bandaged it.

"Sorry, I don't have painkillers now."

"It's okay, I don't need them," Leo reassured him.

"Playing the tough guy, huh?" Tequila smirked, then stood up. "Now rest, kid," and with that, he left the lab. Leo lay down and stared at the ceiling.

"How did I get here?" he wondered aloud, still quietly. "Why can't I remember? Perhaps I hit my head," he rubbed the back of his head and felt a little bump on it, but it was barely noticeable. "Why didn't I noticed this? Well... I didn't really have time to check myself everywhere."

* * *

After some time, Tequila entered the lab to check on Leo.

"Are you awake, kid?"

"Yes," Leo said and sat up. His wound was bothering him, but it was bearable.

"Come out, there's some sushi on the table, waiting for you."

Sushi. Oh, he didn't even know when the last time was when he ate sushi. His brothers weren't fond of it.

After he finished, the older asked if he liked it. Leo nodded with his mouth full. Tequila stepped towards him when he got no reply.

"Kid?"

Leo jerked his head up, and for a minute he was surprised, but then, he realized, that the nodding wasn't the best answer.

"Ah, yes, I love it. I'm sorry, but I forgot that you're y'know, and I nodded," he ducked his head a little.

"Don't be afraid of the b-word. You can say that I'm blind. Anyway, I'm glad you like it because I have plenty of them in the fridge."

"In the fridge? I thought it's not good to keep sushi in it for long."

"Indeed. But I don't have any other choice. It's a miracle to get some food," Tequila unbuttoned his coat and pulled it away from his chest. It immediately caught Leo's attention. A plastron! Tequila's a turtle! He was happy about it, but the nasty, wide, and long scars made him wince. He tried to focus on the fact, that he's a turtle, not on the several scars he had.

"Are you a turtle, too?" Leo asked excitedly.

"Yes..." he sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me? That's great! I didn't know there were other turtles too!" Leo spoke grinning.

"Neither did I," Leo smile faded when he heard the older one’s sad voice. Suddenly, a question popped into his mind that he'd been curious about.

"I wanted to ask before... what is this place? What happened here?" Leo asked while he was walking towards the sink.

"You don't know?" Tequila asked surprisedly. "Is it your first time on the surface?"

"No, no. I just don't know this place. I don't even know how I got here," Leo put his plate into the sink, then went back to his seat.

"You don't remember?"

"No. I hit my head, I think."

"So, you don't remember who hurt you?"

"No."

Tequila hummed. After that, silence filled the air. Leo waited for a response, an explanation, something. He was a little bit nervous, he wasn't sure what to expect. Did he even want to learn what was going on?

"Well, you are in New York," he started, and Leo's gasp interrupted him. "What? First time in New York?"

"No," he answered firmly. "I live in New York. I've always lived in New York. But this city... this can't be New York. New York isn't a dead city."

"But it is, kid. I don't know which New York you know, but this is not that. Once, it was a great place, full of people, happiness, waves of laughter, families. Of course, there was crime too, but life wasn't bad back then. Not at all."

"Where are the people now?"

"They are brainwashed and serving the devil himself. Who managed to escape, the few of the population, are hiding."

"The devil?"

"Alias Oroku Saki. Or the Shredder," he spat angrily.

"The Shredder?! What? He took over the world or what??" Leo jumped up and demanded with widened eyes.

"Yes, but yo-"

"How? How did this happen?"

"The Kraangs helped him."

"When did this all happen?" he grabbed his head.

"Around thirty years ago."

"Thirty...? What? But..." he began to shook his head. "It can't be.”

Leo jumped up and began to walk in circles in the ‘living room’.

“What’s wrong?” Tequila asked. _What has gotten into this kid?_ he thought wonderingly.

“I have a sneaking suspicion,” he said nervously. “Do you know Karai?”

“Of course. Everybody knows her. She’s the Shredder’s daughter.”

“What? She isn’t!”

“She _is_.”

Leo's eyes widened in horror. If it was true, then it meant only one thing. The hunch was right, but he couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t! Was he... was he in another dimension?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I don’t own the turtles or the other characters from the cartoon-   
> Share your opinion with me :)


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're young, and you're so naive," the older turtle shook his head. "When I was as young as you are now, I also believed that everything and everybody can be saved. You will grow out of it."  
> "I'm not naive," Leo defended himself, offended. "You are too pessimist."  
> Tequila hummed, and a smirk appeared on his face. "Perhaps we are both far away from realistic, but in a different way."

**3**

* * *

**“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”**

**\- Carl Gustav Jung -**

* * *

"So... I must be in a different dimension," Leo stated. He was sitting at the table, a hot tea in his hands. After he had become hysterical, Tequila had slapped him twice, hard, then he led him to the table and made him tea as an apology and to calm the kid's nerves down. "This dimension is horrible! I hope the guys will find me soon."

"It's good news that you live in a better place. Kids shouldn't experience such a life," Tequila said, then he sipped from his tea. He was sitting opposite him. "I hope your world won't turn into a nightmare as mine did."

"Yes. I wish we could defeat the Shredder soon. After that, we could live a peaceful life."

_So he has a family_ , Tequila thought. He would like to learn more about the young boy. He didn't even know his name. But he knew he didn't have to know more about him. He didn't want to get too close to him. He had to send him back to his world before he gets used to the fact that he's not alone anymore. And before he doesn't want to let the boy go.

"Do you think it's hopeless to go against the Shredder? Do you think that this world can't be saved?" Leo asked.

"Yes. I lost hope a long time ago. We tried to overcome the Shredder, but we failed. We'd lost too much," the older replied woefully. Leo looked at him sadly, then his eyes drooped. The bigger turtle sighed, then continued. "But let's not talk about the past anymore. It can't be changed. Let's speak about our future. You have nowhere to go, am I right?"

"Yeah..." he whispered.

"You can stay here, on two conditions. You won't go hysterical again, and you will obey me. Understood?"

"Yes, thank you."

Leo drank the last sip from his tea and opened his mouth again. "Can I ask something?"

"Go ahead."

"Are there other turtles here too?"

"Yes."

"How many?"

Tequila thought for a moment. "I'm not sure..." Were they still alive? He didn't know. It was a long time ago when he last saw one of them.

"So, you don't know where they are, right?"

"Yes. I haven't seen any of them for a while."

"Were they your teammates?"

"Yes. And I had teammates from other species too."

"What happened to them?"

Tequila lifted the cup to his mouth. How could he tell it nicely and carefully to a child? He didn't want to scare him. He didn't know how old he was. He sounded young, and he was little, Tequila assumed that he was a young teenager. He put him between thirteen and sixteen.

"One injured, another died, and somebody disappeared. Lots of things happened to them. I wouldn't like to go into details."

"I-I understand."

"Since when are you a mutant?" the older asked suddenly.

"I mutated shortly after I hatched."

"So, you were a pet turtle."

"Yes. What about you?"

"The same can be said about me too."

"And since when..." Leo cut himself off. Should he ask? Wouldn't it be a bit nosy? He didn't want to be indiscreet.

"Since when what?" Tequila urged him.

"Since when are you... blind?" Leo asked quietly and sheepishly.

"It happened almost thirty years ago. I've lost my sight by the Shredder. We'd already lost our doctor, and during that wartime, we couldn't find anybody else who could have helped me."

"I don't know what I would do if that happened to me," Leo sighed.

"Once, Helen Keller said: 'Blindness is an unfortunate handicap, but true vision does not require eyes.' Do you know who she was?"

"An author?"

"Among other things, yes. But most importantly, she was the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. At first, when I first read about her, I couldn't understand how she could live with such a misfortunate fate. And I still can't understand. I have no idea what I would do if I went deaf too. When I had my sight, I had no idea what I would do if I went blind. And now, I'm here, an old, blind, mutant, who is still alive. I had learned how to live with this hindrance. It wasn't easy, not at all, but I managed to adapt. There are things that cannot be understood by those people who didn't experience them. But no matter what you experience in your life, it is necessary to adapt."

Leonardo was listening to him intently. This turtle reminded him of Master Splinter now.

"You know... you remind me of a wise man I know," Leo said. "He's been telling us wise things since our hatch and sometimes he's speaking in riddles," Leo smiled as he thought about his father, but it soon turned into a frown as he realized that he can't get advice from him right now. And who knows when he will see him again. He blew the air out through his nose.

"As I see it, you have to break in a way to be wise. I guess his life wasn't the best either, was it?"

"You're right. He has lost his first family," Leo released a sigh sadly.

"But he could move on, and now he's happy again with you."

"Yes. He says that when he misses his loved ones from the past, he focuses on the friends he's surrounded in the present."

_What a shame that I have nobody to focus on_ , Tequila thought bitterly.

"Do you live alone?" Leo asked.

"Yes."

"Don't you have family or friends?"

"I had. But I've lost them. They had died, and the rest of us drifted apart."

"Call them up! I'm sure they don't like this either. You can be friends again!" Leo explained confidently.

"You're young, and you're so naive," the older turtle shook his head. "When I was as young as you are now, I also believed that everything and everybody can be saved. You will grow out of it."

"I'm not naive," Leo defended himself, offended. "You are too pessimist."

Tequila hummed, and a smirk appeared on his face. "Perhaps we are both far away from realistic, but in a different way."

"Well, you could at least try."

Tequila folded his hands around the empty cup. Perhaps he really should try... No! They didn't give a damn about him, then why would he? But at least one of them... he was so lonely. He was alive, but he was just surviving this life without his family, not actually living it.

But the idea didn't vanish from his mind.

* * *

"I can make you spaghetti for dinner," Tequila offered as he walked out of the lab. Leo was sitting on the couch, watching some kind of cartoon on the TV.

"Can I help?" Leo asked.

"Not needed. I've been managing on my own for quite some time now."

"Alright. I should avoid the kitchen anyway."

"Why?" Tequila stepped to the hotplate and put the red pot filled with water on it.

"I can't cook or bake... or anything else what others do in the kitchen," Leo admitted slightly embarrassed. "I can only make tea without setting the kitchen on fire."

The older turtle chuckled. "I wasn't better either when I was young. But since I live alone, I had to learn these things."

"How old are you?" Leo asked. "If I might ask," he added sheepishly.

"I'm forty-seven. What about you, kid?"

"I'm fifteen, soon sixteen."

"You have your whole life ahead of you," he put the pasta into the boiling water. "Hopefully, you don't have to spend the rest of your time here."

"Yeah... but I don't know how I will go back. Perhaps the only thing I can do is waiting."

Tequila thought for a moment. Should he offer his help? He couldn't let this poor child be stuck here. But it wasn't his problem. He didn't even know this kid. He wasn't his father or something... But still... this child didn't do anything wrong against him. It wouldn't kill him to call someone up. Perhaps with this call, he could get a friend back too. But what if they couldn't help him? What will happen to the kid, then? Should he take care of him in the future?

He took a deep breath.

_Let's worry about this later_ , he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, share your thoughts :)


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Leave him alone!" Tequila spat furiously.   
> "We were just familiarising with each other," she smirked. "But what about you? Did you get a son or what?"  
> "What if I did?" he growled as he pushed Karai back.

**4**

* * *

**“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.”**

**\- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe -**

* * *

Leonardo was already asleep on the couch. Tequila was sitting on his own bed in the lab, his phone in his hand. It was a long time ago when he last time used it. Should he call them? As he fell deeper in his thoughts, his thumb was stroking the black screen.

He had to help the child. At least he had to try it. He unlocked his phone, then he clicked on the little envelope. Or at least, he hoped he clicked on that. He was afraid that he didn't remember well.

_Oh damn_ , he thought suddenly. This phone could be led by voice. Was he getting senile?

He told a name to the phone, and then he dictated the text for the messages.

_'Is Stockman still working for you?'_

He knew he wouldn't get a reply immediately. It was midnight. But what if he will never get a reply? They wouldn't ignore his SMS, right? He hoped it.

He got this phone from Stockman years ago. He promised that it can't be tracked down. The others believed him, so did he. Fortunately, nobody found him because of the phone. Yet.

He put the device on the table, voice on, and he lay down. He should rest a little too. Perhaps this time he will be lucky enough to dream with pictures...

* * *

_Beep-beep._

The little beeping sound woke Tequila up. He groaned as he rose to his feet and grabbed his glasses and the phone.

_'I'm sorry for the late reply. I didn't think you would write... by the way, yes, he's still working with me. Why? And what about you? Are you okay? We haven't heard from you in a while...'_

_A 'yes' would have been enough_ , he thought. He ignored the lots of questions and asked a new one.

_'Can he make a portal to other dimensions?'_

The answer came fast: _'Perhaps. But why? You don't want to leave us, do you?'_

Leave them? Why did they care? Nobody would notice if he disappeared. He remembered when he actually planned to run away. He didn't know where, just so far away from here. But he didn't do that. He hoped that everything would be okay. He hoped that the others would be there for him.

Hope dies last, people say. But what if the hope died? Then, he shouldn't be alive either.

He sighed bitterly. Perhaps he should go with the child.

He slapped himself mentally. _Why would you?_ he asked himself. _Do you want to force that kid to take care of you? Of an old, blind stranger? You would be alone there too, you would have to hide there too..._

He brought the phone to his mouth.

_'A kid got here from another dimension, and he needs_ _help.'_

_'Come over with the kid, and then we can discuss it, okay?'_

He bit his bottom lip. He didn't want to go.

_Knock-knock._

The lab door was slid open a little, and Leo peeked in.

"Good morning," he said shyly.

"Good morning," Tequila replied. Hm, he didn't remember when he said it last time. "Do you need something?"

"Um, no, not really. I just checked whether you were awake."

The older man raised one eye-ridge. He was suspicious.

"Now, you're here, finish your plan and tell me the truth."

"Okay," he said quietly and closed the door behind him. He pursed his lips as he took a few steps towards the taller turtle.

"Well?" Tequila urged him.

"My side is bothering me...a little," Leo looked away. He didn't like to admit that he wasn't completely okay.

"Sit on the cot, I will change your bandage."

Leo did as he was told. Tequila unwrapped Leo from the white dressing and gently touched the wound. Leo hissed.

"Fortunately, you didn't tear your stitches," he put the new one on. "Are you sure you don't need any painkiller? You don't sound good."

"I'm fine."

Tequila pressed the wound through the bandage with his finger hard.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" he clapped a hand over the sore area.

"You are reeeeaaallllyyy fine," he narrowed his eyes.

"Of course, it hurts if you make it!" Leo fought back.

_We will get some medicine in the evening_ , Tequila planned. _Will he be okay until evening? Should we go sooner?_

"What is the time?" he asked.

"Around six o'clock."

"Then, let's eat something and go for some medicine before the Foot's rush hour."

"When is it?"

"From eight to midnight."

"And what about the last eight hours?"

"They loose up a bit. This is when you can get some food. The Shredder doesn't want the rebels to die. He wants them to assimilate into the Foot."

Leo lowered his head and asked nothing else.

* * *

The two turtles slalomed from building to building. Though the Foot let the rebels go out to get some food, they didn't hesitate to strike down any of them. And jumping on the rooftops would have been too conspicuous, especially during daylight.

When they get to an alley, Tequila turned to Leo.

"Wait here."

"Why? I wanna go," Leo whined.

"Do you see that building in front of us?" Tequila felt Leo nodding against his arm. "I will be there. But just for a minute, so you don't have to worry."

"But why can't I go too?"

"Just wait here," Tequila ordered, then he ran to the building. It was light brown and looked like a big warehouse. Was the medicine inside there? But if he went to get the medicine, why didn't he let Leo come with him?

Leo didn't like this. He was alone, weaponless, injured in a strange world. He hoped Tequila wouldn't be away so long.

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't hear that somebody jumped down from the rooftop and was approaching him from behind.

"What the hell?" came a familiar voice.

Leo turned around and saw a tall, middle-aged woman in black clothes and armor. Her black hair reached her shoulders, and her amber eyes were scanning Leo.

"You? No, it can't be... you can't be him," she muttered.

"Karai?" Leo asked surprisedly.

"Yes. But who are _you_?" she stepped closer and put a hand on her tanto. _He's too young to be him_ , she thought. _But he looks exactly like him. Does he have a child? But how? Did he clone himself with Stockman? Did the others clone themselves too? Or did he find a female mutant? Another turtle?_

"That's... that's none of your business," Leo stuttered. _This Karai isn't my Karai, she serves the Shredder_ , _she's his daughter_ , he thought.

"So you have chosen the hard way," her gaze hardened and unsheathed her sword. She lunged at him. Leo just barely could avoid the sharp weapon. Oh, how he missed his swords right now! He had no chance against her! Karai attacked him again and again, and Leo jumped away every time. But it was just the beginning, Karai was only playing with him. She didn't want to hurt him if it wasn't necessary. He was just a child, a weaponless, already injured child. But if he won't speak, then she won't have another choice but attack him in a real way.

"Tell me who you are, and I will spare your life."

"I won't tell you anything. Leave me, Karai. I'm not alone," Leo tried to sound confident and dangerous, but he was afraid that Tequila wouldn't be back in time.

"You are not alone?" she asked with a smirk. "Then, where is your savior?"

"He'll be here soon..." Leo said uncertainly. "But you shouldn't attack me! I'm weaponless and injured! Where's your honor?"

"Did your father teach you about honor?" Karai asked, thinking of another turtle.

"Yes, he did. But as I see, your father didn't!"

Karai narrowed her eyes in anger, and Leo gulped nervously. _Oops..._

Karai swung her tanto towards the turtle's face so fast that Leo couldn't react in time. He closed his eyes quickly and felt as the sword cut him between his left eye and ear-split. His mask fell down to his shoulder, then slid down on his plastron to the ground. Karai was ready to strike again, but as she drew her weapon down, another sword blocked hers.

"Leave him alone!" Tequila spat furiously.

"We were just familiarising with each other," she smirked. "But what about you? Did you get a son or what?"

"What if I did?" he growled as he pushed Karai back.

"By who?"

"That's none of your business."

"You couldn't even deny it," she said, then bent down and grabbed Leo's mask. "Sayonara," and with that, he jumped onto the fire-escape and disappeared.

"Let's go," Tequila gripped Leo's arm.

"But my..."

"Your what?"

"Um, never mind. Did you get the medicine?" Leo changed the topic. He didn't want Tequila to try and replace the mask for him. He had enough problems.

"Not yet."

"Then, what were you doing there?" Leo asked wonderingly.

"I met someone, but it's not important right now. Let's go for medicine."

The older turtle pulled the younger one after him. Leo couldn't help but wonder who he met with.

* * *

"Master," Karai bowed in front of his master and father in the throne room. "I met Leonardo."

"Did you finish him?" Shredder asked, sitting on his throne.

"No, but I learned an interesting thing about him. He has a son," he lifted the blue mask in his hand.

The Shredder snapped his gaze to his daughter. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, he admitted it to me."

"What if he lied?"

"I do not think so. He looked exactly like him when he was younger. And the way he was acting... everything matched."

"How is this possible?"

"I do not know yet, but I will."

"Excellent. Next time, capture the boy. He can be useful to us."

"I understand, Father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me your opinion :)


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So? Did Karai hurt you?"  
> "No."  
> "Are you sure?"  
> "Umm..." Leo looked away. 

**5**

* * *

**“The vast majority of adults have never met themselves.”**

**\- Mokokoma Mokhonoana -**

* * *

Leo was sleeping again. The painkiller did its job. Tequila was sitting next to the couch, in the armchair. It was only five o'clock in the afternoon, but he felt that it was a long day. He met too many people today. He didn't plan this. He wasn't used to it anymore. He sighed and threw his head back. A little rest won't hurt him either. But as soon as he closed his eyes, the memory from the morning started to play in his mind.

* * *

_Tequila stepped inside carefully. It was years ago when the team worked here together. He walked ahead slowly. Silence filled the area as he was walking. But in the next minute, he heard as a door opened._

_"Leo!" said a cheery feminine voice. The turtle stopped. He felt as the woman ran towards him, and as soon as she reached him, she hugged him. And with that hug, the time froze for a minute as well as Tequila. He didn't know what to do. Hug back? Push her away? Or just stand there like a frozen chicken? Hm, the last one was the most likeable for him. He waited until the woman let go of him. "I'm so glad that you came! How are you?"_

_"Been better..." he said coldly. "What about you?"_

_"Well, I'm fine, as much as I can be."_

_"That's good... um, I'm not planning to stay long. Can you help or not?"_

_"We can help, but Stockman needs time to build the portal, and he needs information about the child's dimension."_

_"Alright. I just wanted to make sure before bringing him here,” he explained, slightly nervously. It was long time ago when he talk to her._

_"I understand."_

_"I have to go, he's waiting outside."_

_"Invite him in, then," she smiled._

_"We don't have time now. He needs some medicine, but nothing serious," he explained._

_"I can examine him," she offered._

_"Thanks, but I already did. He's going to be okay. But thanks... for everything."_

_"Oh, don't mention it," she waved._

_"Really, April. I appreciate it," he said quietly, then turned around. "We'll come in a few days," and with that, he left the area._

_As he stepped outside, he immediately felt that something was wrong. He heard fighting. As he got closer, he heard talking._

_"Did your father teach you this honor stuff?" asked a familiar voice. It belonged to a dangerous woman who was his friend in the past._

_"Yes, he did. But as I see, your father didn't!"_

_Tequila was surprised to hear such courage from the child, but it made him smirk. It must have piss Karai off._

_As he reached them, he felt as she was bringing her sword down at the kid, but before it could hurt him, Tequila blocked it_

* * *

He opened his eyes, though nothing changed. He reached for his face and took the glasses off. He rubbed his eyes slowly and decided to get a nap in a real bed. He rose to his feet, but as soon as he stood up, an afterimage came in.

_"Did you get a son or what?"_

_"What if I did?_

Why did he say that? He shouldn't have. But... it didn't matter. It was better than explaining to the enemy what's up. 

_"You couldn't even deny it."_

What did she mean? Because the kid was talking about honor? Or because he was a turtle too?

_"But my..."_

_"Your what?"_

_"Um, nevermind._

And what did the kid want to say? Well... after all, he didn't say anything, so it couldn't be so important... right?

Wait! What if he got injured? He was weaponless, injured, and a CHILD! Against Karai who was an armored, well-experienced adult ninja! Though he knew how to fight when he was a kid, that didn't mean that every kid knows. Especially in that shape what he was in. Perhaps he wanted to tell that something hurts, but he was too afraid to tell. He must have been rude or too cold... He didn't even ask if he was okay! Oh, man. He wasn't good with children. He got so used to being alone, that he didn't even know how to act around others anymore. 

He walked to the cot in the lab. He stepped to the kid and put his hands on his shoulders. He was looking for injuries. He felt his arms and upper plastron over, then he moved his hands to his sides. As he was trying to find out if he was okay, he forgot that he already had an injury, and he pressed the wound on his side accidentally.

"Argh!" Leo snapped awake and brought his hand over his wound while he sat up. 

"I'm sorry," the older turtle said. 

"Why did you do that?" Leo asked in a half-annoyed, half-sleepy voice. 

"It was an accident. I wanted to make sure that you are okay after the fight with Karai."

"You could have asked me."

"I didn't want to wake you up," Tequila rubbed the back of his head. 

"I see, but don't touch me over next time while I'm asleep, okay? That's weird, you know." 

"I didn't want to overstep. I didn't mean-"

"It's okay. I just don't like it when someone's touching me or something while I'm sleeping, even if they are want to help. It's just my whim, sorry." 

"I understand. I won't do it again. But then, tell me if you are injured right away."

"Okay."

"So? Did Karai hurt you?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Umm..." Leo looked away. 

Tequila sighed. He knew. "Show me," he ordered and reached his arm out towards him. 

"It's not big, nothing serious," Leo said, then took his hand and brought it to the small wound on his face. Tequila felt it and hummed.

"You should have told me," he flicked the younger's forehead. Leo rubbed it with his hand, and a whined a bit, so Tequila could understand that he glared at him. Tequila cleaned the wound, then put a plaster on it. 

"Do you want to sleep back or eat something?" 

"Hmm..." Leo thought for a moment, but a second later his stomach grumbled which made the answer for Tequila. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts! :)


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish you would stay here.

**6**

* * *

**“All roads taken lead us only to ourselves.”**

**\- Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls -**

* * *

_3 weeks later_

"Can you help us or not?" Tequila asked a little annoyed. He held his phone to his ear-slit and paced around in the living room. 

"We can, I told you," came the answer.

"You said that it would take a few days. Three weeks passed. Are you sure that you can help? If you can't, then please tell us, and then I will find another solution."

"He just needs some time,"

"How much?"

"I don't know. He's looking for a component."

The turtle released a sigh. "Alright. Then call me when he found it, and then I will take the kid to you to help."

"Okay. And we are sorry, Leo."

"It's okay, April. Bye."

"Bye"

Suddenly, the lab door opened, and Tequila put the phone away as he turned towards the kid. 

"Good morning."

"Good morning," Leo smiled.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, nothing hurts."

"That's good. Let's have breakfast, then I'll check your wound."

* * *

While Tequila was examining the young turtle, Leo was thinking about the past three weeks. They were watching TV, playing Twenty Questions and training. But they weren't speaking so much. Leo wanted to know Tequila better, asked some questions, but the older turtle usually didn't answer. Tequila didn't ask anything. He wasn't curious about the younger. 

"Tequila?" Leo started. 

"Yes?"

"Why do you never ask anything?"

"What do you mean?" Tequila asked, confused. 

"You never ask about my life, my family... you don't even know my name."

"I don't need to know. You are going to leave this place, so there's no reason for us to know each other better or get to used to each other."

"Why?"

"It would just make everything harder."

"Why?" 

"That's the end of this conversation."

"I disagree," Leo stated and looked determined. "My na-"

Tequila put his finger on the boy's lips. 

"I don't want to know." 

Tequila knew that the information wouldn't have hurt him, but he just... didn't want to know this boy. He didn't want to start to like him. He didn't want himself to want him to stay... with him, perhaps as a friend... or as his son. The more he knew about him, the more he wanted this loneliness to end... the more wanted him to become his family... But he also knew that this boy didn't belong to him. He has to go back to his world, to his family. And as soon as it happens, he will be alone again... and forever. 

* * *

Leo decided to cook something. Yes, Leonardo Hamato wanted to cook something! It happened before in the past a few times, but then there was always somebody who could stop him. But now, there was nobody! Tequila was training, so Leo was _all alone_ in the _kitchen_! Leo opened the fridge and looked in.

"Hmm..." he thought for a moment. What can he cook? Um... nothing. Alright, then what can he cook without destroying the kitchen, killing someone, or making the food absolutely inedible. Tough question. He looked through the food in the fridge, and something caught his attention. "Sushi? I thought we had eaten all of them. Hmm, they are so old, we shouldn't eat them." He grabbed them and decided to throw them out. He walked towards the trash when Tequila stepped in.

"What are you doing?"

Leo turned around surprisingly. He didn't expect him to finish his training so soon. 

"Just throwing out the sushi. They are too old."

"No. Put it back. We won't waste food," he said firmly. 

"But..."

"If you don't want to eat it, it's fine, I will eat it."

"Okay..." Leo said defeated and walked back to the fridge. 

"And don't be in the kitchen without me. You said you are dangerous here. I don't want a fire or anything."

Leo looked annoyed. "Fine..." 

* * *

A scream rang through the hideout, which woke Tequila up immediately. He ran out of the lab, towards the living room, since Leo was using the couch as his bed now. 

"What's wrong? What happened?" Tequila demanded as he reached the couch. The answer was a relieved sob. The older turtle understood and sat next to the weeping turtle. He put an arm around the shaking boy and started to rub his arm. "It's okay, kid. It was just a dream."

Leo hugged Tequila tightly which surprised the turtle. A hug... he almost forgot how it feels. Tequila hugged back the younger turtle and rubbed his head. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Leo didn't reply, he just cried into Tequila's plastron. He thought the boy wouldn't tell him, but after a few minutes, he started.

"It was so real..." he sobbed. "Shredder to-took over the world wi-with the Kraangs a-a-and made the people their s-slaves. And then...the Sh-shredder killed my... f-family and friends. I ran away. I ran to y-your hideout, b-b-but you-you were de-dead too!" Leo cried harder at the memory. "I was a-alone. All alone. And the Sh-shredder was a-after me-e. I was s-so afraid..." 

Tequila couldn't help but hug the turtle even tighter. He had similar nightmares too, but he had no one to comfort him. And it just made the situation worse. He didn't want the boy to feel what he felt. He whispered comforting words into his ear-slit and stroked soothing circles on his shell. 

He stayed with the kid until Leo dozed off. Tequila didn't dare to move, so he remained in that hugging position until he also fell asleep.

* * *

Tequila was already awake when Leo woke up too. When the younger turtle realized their positions, he sat up immediately and apologized. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You couldn't sleep because of me," Leo stated sadly. 

"That's not true. I could sleep. I woke up just a few minutes earlier than you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Tequila..." Leo continued sheepishly.

"Hm?"

"Thank you..."

"It was nothing," he waved. "Are you okay now?"

"Yes."

"Then okay."

After that, none of them said a word, but they didn't move either. They just sat on the big couch, next to each other, in silence. 

But just for a minute. 

"Tequila?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think your friends can help me?"

The question caught the older turtle off guard. He didn't expect it. 

"Of course," he said, though he wasn't so sure about it. 

"Honestly?" 

"Yes. They are really smart. They just need some time, but I'm sure that they are going to find a solution."

"And what if you're wrong? What if they can't help and I stick here?"

"Don't think about it. You will get home." 

"I don't know. I start to lose my hope."

"Already? Only three weeks passed."

"These three weeks were like three years to me. I really miss my family, you know. I'm afraid I can't see them again."

Tequila didn't know what to say. 

"But... if it happens... and I have to stay here... then you won't throw me out, right? I can stay here with you, right?"

"If it happens, which I'm sure won't, then you will stay here with me. It can't be a question. And then, you can tell me everything about yourself... and I will tell you everything about myself. We can be... friends... or like father and son if you want to."

"Thanks. You know, it's reassuring that I'm not alone here and I won't have to be. I'm glad that I have you here."

The older turtle's eyes watered at Leo's words and pulled the boy closer to himself.

_I wish you would stay here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review :)


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What did you mean by nephew?"  
> "What do ya mean? I meant that yer my nephew. This is what ya wanted to say, right? That I'm your uncle."  
> "Umm..."

**7**

* * *

**“The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. Self-knowledge has no end – you don’t come to an achievement, you don’t come to a conclusion. It is an endless river.”**

**-** **Jiddu Krishnamurti -**

* * *

_A week later_

The two turtles spoke more during this week, though they didn't talk about their pasts. Leo still didn't understand the reason, but he didn't bring it up again. 

Leo was lying on the couch, in the dark, thinking about his family. Will he ever see them again? Can Tequila's friends help him? A month passed, and still nothing. Should he just give up?

No!

He can't give up. No, no, never. He won't lose his hope. He has to keep it. But with every day, it became harder and harder. 

* * *

Leo woke up to gagging. He rubbed his eyes as he got off the couch. As soon as he collected some energy, he started to follow the strange sound. He walked towards the lab, then he turned to left, where the bathroom door was open. Leo went to the bathroom and switched the light on. The light let Leo see what was happening. He saw Tequila vomiting into the toilet. Leo cowered next to him and looked at him worriedly.

"What's wrong?" 

"I'm fine," he breathed. "Go back to sleep."

"You don't look fine to me."

"It's just a little indigestion."

"Was it the sushi?"

As a reply, Tequila threw up into the toilet again.

"I knew it," Leo frowned. "I told you it was too old."

"You were right, be happy then," Tequila answered edgily. 

"I'm not happy," Leo said a little bit hurt. "How can I help you?"

"Nohow."

Leo stood up and went back to the lab. He walked to the cabinet and opened it. He was looking for some medicine.

"Nothing useful," He whispered. He walked back to the puking turtle and said. "I found nothing in the cabinet. Do you have medicine somewhere else?"

"No," he gasped. 

"Then, I will go up."

"Forget it," Tequila managed to say. "No need to... to risk your life... for an upset stomach."

"It's not that late. We have time before the Foot's rush hour. I can do it."

"No."

"Yes, I'm going out. Sorry for disobeying you, but I won't just sit around and watch your suffering."

"Listen, kid..." he breathed heavily. He was exhausted. "It's not the first time. I'm going to be okay. So... just go back to sleep."

"I'm going out," Leo said firmly. "Can I get a weapon?"

"No, you stay home!"

"Then I'm going without a weapon," Leo was determined. There was no way to order him around when he decided to help someone. And Tequila could see it too. 

"You won't... you won't listen to me...right?"

"I'm sorry, but yes."

"I'm... coming too."

"No. You're sick, you stay here. But then, can I take your swords?"

Tequila nodded slowly. 

"Take care of-," and he threw up.

"Don't worry. I will take care of them."

_Of yourself..._ Tequila thought.

* * *

Leo was running between the building towards the place, where they got medicine last time. After some minutes, he noticed the small warehouse. He looked around, then he stepped out of the alley and sprinted towards it. But he didn't reach it.

* * *

_2 weeks earlier_

"You've become better during the years," Karai said as he avoided her enemy's attack. 

"Yer not bad either," said a deep voice. "But I saw better."

Karai swung her blade but a sai blocked it.

"I met somebody," she started.

"Who cares?"

"Your brother."

"I don't have brothers."

"Leonardo."

"I don't know any Leonardo,"

"Oh, Raphael, you are so childish," Karai said, as she lunged at him.

Raphael dodged it again. "Why are ya telling me this?"

"I just want to know something."

"I don't know anything about him."

Karai smirked as she thought about Raphael's future reaction. 

"Do you know that you are an uncle?"

The turtle suddenly froze.

"A... a what?"

"An uncle. You have a nephew, Raphael."

"Impossible."

"Is it? I saw him with my own eyes. A little Leonardo."

"We can't have children," he stated.

"Well, he managed somehow. That boy is his. He even admitted to me."

"Leonardo?"

"Yes. He had to protect him from me. Poor child, he was a little off that day."

"Yer lying! That's absurd!" Raphael still didn't want to believe it.

"You think? Then go and see him yourself."

_Now_

Raphael was standing on a rooftop, waiting for some trouble. He still didn't believe Karai. 

"Yeah, Leo surely made a child...tsk, my ass. That was lame from Karai," he said to the air. 

He turned his head left and noticed a black figure on another roof. Raphael was watching it carefully, and saw a gun. He followed where the gun was pointing and saw somebody crossing the road. 

"Heh?" Raphael managed to say, as he recognized that somebody's species. "A turtle? Moreover, a kid turtle? Can he...no, I'm sure it's not him," He looked back at the figure and sighed. "Gotta help, I guess..."

He jumped down with the help of the fire escape and ran towards the kid. 

As the gun went off, Raphael grabbed the kid's arm and pulled him to the alley. 

"Ya okay?" he asked, not turning around. 

A reply was a faint moan and a thud. Raphael turned around and saw the kid on his knees, his right hand was pressed against his left upper arm.

"It hit ya?!" he cowered in front of the kid and gently took his injured arm. The boy let him look at his wound. "Don't worry, kiddo, it just grazed ya."

The kid looked up, straight to his savior's face, and his eyes widened as he recognized the familiar mask.

"R-Raph?"

Raph looked at him surprised. "Ya know me?"

"You..." Leo felt that something wasn't right with himself. "You're my... my..." before he could finish, his eyes rolled back and went limb in Raphael's arms.

* * *

When Leo opened his eyes, he found himself in a foreign place. Suddenly, he panicked and wanted to sit up, but two strong hands pushed him back. 

"Stay still. Don't worry, yer in a safe place. Ya fainted probably from the shock."

Leo turned his head towards the voice and noticed Raphael. And he saw his eye...

"Raph? Your...your..."

"Yeah. I can't believe that Karai was right!" 

"What do you mean?" 

"That I'm an uncle. It's so unbelievable, that I have a nephew. Man, ya really look like yer father. Not exactly, but I see him in ya. At least, his old self. He looks totally different nowadays. I don't really see him nowadays, though. If I came from the past, I wouldn't recognize him. But I wouldn't recognize myself or the others either without the mask and stuff. We look really scary, ain't we?"

"Umm..." Leo didn't know how to reply. He didn't really understand what Raphael was talking about. Uncle? And nephew? Who?

"Okay, don't answer."

"What did you mean by nephew?"

"What do ya mean? I meant that yer my nephew. This is what ya wanted to say, right? That I'm your uncle."

"Umm..." 

"I can't believe that he managed to make a child! And he didn't tell us! Okay, we aren't best friends now, but still! I have the right to know if I have a nephew!"

What the hell is going on? 

_"Did you get a son or what?"_

_"What if I did?"_

Yeah, he remembered that. Was this the reason why Raphael was talking nonsense to him? Did Karai tell him? But wait... if Raphael thinks that Leo is his nephew, then that means that he's... Tequila's brother. And if this Raphael is his Raph's counterpart, then Tequila is... Donnie or Mikey... or himself. No, he can't be his counterpart. He would have recognized himself, wouldn't he?

_"If I came from the past, I wouldn't recognize him."_

Can it be that he changed this much? He always thought that Tequila was somehow familiar to him. But he didn't know why. 

Perhaps in this dimension, Raphael has a fourth brother, or his brothers are totally different from him... Tequila can't be him, nor Donnie or Mikey. Tequila was so... not them. Too dark. Too sad. The thought scared him. 

"So..." Leo cleared his throat. "So... Karai told you, right?"

"Yes. And of course, I didn't believe her."

"No wonder," he said under his breath. 

"What's yer name?" Raphael asked. 

"Leo."

"Hah, can't believe he named you after himself!" Raphael huffed.

_A-after himself??_ Then that means that Tequila is...him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me your thoughts!!! :)


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "…There's something you should know."

**As a preliminary point: Raphael and Tequila are really not best friends. Not at all.**

* * *

**8**

* * *

**“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.”**

**\- Aldous Huxley -**

* * *

"So, who's yer mother?"

"Umm... I don't have a mother."

"Then, how were ya born?" 

"Umm... that's... complicated," Leo looked away. 

"Okay, I get it. Ya don't wanna talk about it."

"Can I... ask something?" Leo asked shyly. 

"Sure."

"What happened to your eye?"

"Oh, this," he rubbed his head. "Didn't yer dear father tell ya?"

"He doesn't like to talk about his past."

Raphael huffed annoyed. "Coward."

"What?!" Leo asked back surprisingly. 

"Sorry for saying that, but yer dad is an asshole."

"He's not," Leo narrowed his eyes. He wasn't an asshole. Right? He would never be...

"He _is_. Sorry for disappointing ya, but he's sooo far away from what he told and show ya about himself. 'Cause I'm sure, he didn't show ya what a jerk he really is."

"Why do you say that?" Leo's eyes watered. If Tequila was really his counterpart, then Raphael was defiling HIM, Leonardo. It hurt him, even if it wasn't directed exactly to him.

"It's not my job to tell ya. Yer father has to tell ya. I just hope ya didn't inherit this shit of him. And I hope he won't ruin ya, and won't instill his cowardice and spinelessness in ya."

Leo couldn't help but let a tear escape as he realized Raphael how much hated him. Was he that horrible? 

Raphael noticed this and felt guilty. He didn't want to hurt the kid.

"Eh, look, kiddo, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked shit about yer dad to ya, no matter what I think," he took a deep breath. "Okay, let's forget this. Let's talk about ya. How old are ya?"

"Fifteen," he sniffed. 

"How come I never saw you before? Where do you live?"

"I can't tell it."

"Aha, so yer mad at me now. Okay, get it."

Leo decided to sit up, and he was trying to move his tired body.

"Stay."

"No.

"Oh c'mon."

Raph saw that he can't stop this stubborn child, so he put a supporting hand on his shell and helped him to sit up. 

"Did yer father teach you ninjutsu?" Raphael asked calmly.

"Yes."

"What's yer weapon?"

"Katana."

"Ah, I should have known. Sword boy, just like yer dad," a little smile appeared on the old turtle's face as he thought about the old, nice days. But this smile disappeared soon as he reminded himself of the present. "Are those yours?" he pointed towards the swords, that lay nearby.

"No. I lost mine."

"How?"

"Complicated... um... I should head home."

"Yeah, don't make yer dad worry. But I don't think he has this kind of feeling or any other feeling, though."

Leo said nothing, just slowly tried to get off the cot. Rapoticed yer side injury too. And I heard that ya were off against Karai."

Leo looked annoyed. 

"I don't even understand, how could yer dad let you out alone. Some father he is."

"He couldn't come with me."

"Why not?"

"Just let's go..."

"Alright, alright."

* * *

Raphael and Leo were near Tequila's hideout. Leo didn't want to show it to Raphael. Tequila was sick, he didn't have medicine, so he didn't want to bring a hostile brother on his back... 

Suddenly, Leo stopped. Raphael looked at him puzzled.

"You can go home now, thanks."

"No way, I wanna see ya go through the door."

"I'll be fine. Just go."

"Why don't ya want me to see where you live?" Raphael raised an eye ridge.

"Just because," Leo answered nervously. As a reply, Raphael narrowed his eyes. 

"Let him go!" suddenly a figure pushed Raphael away.

"What the...?" Raph staggered backward, as he looked at the newcomer. "Leonardo?"

Tequila didn't listen to Raphael, he cowered in front of the kid.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly and put his hands on Leo's upper arms. Leo hissed, as Tequila touched his injured arm. "What's wrong? What is this? Bandage? What happened? Is it serious?"

"I'm fine, it just a scratch," Leo tried to calm the older turtle down. It was strange to see him like this.

"But what happened? Did _he_ hurt you?" he meant Raphael.

"What? Ya accuse me of hurting children?!" Raph raised his voice.

"I wouldn't put it past you!"

"Ya little-"

"No!" Leo interrupted them. "He didn't hurt me. To the contrary. He saved me. A Foot shot at me, the bullet just grazed me because Raph pulled me away. And he took care of my injury."

"Are you feeling okay? Aren't you feeling dizzy? Is it hurt?" Tequila turned his attention back to Leo.

"I'm fine."

And then, suddenly, Tequila wrapped his arms around the kid and started to rub his head.

"I was worried! This is why I didn't want you to go. You could have died!"

Raphael couldn't believe his eye and ears. It was a long time ago when he last saw Leonardo this emotional.

"But I didn't," Leo said calmly, though he was a little nervous. Did Tequila just hug him? Okay, he did it before, when he had a nightmare, but this was a little different. He didn’t saw him worried and this caring before. Plus, he knew who he really was. But he still looked at him like he would be a totally different person. Slowly, he returned the hug. "I had worse."

"That's not reassuring, just upsetting."

"I'm alive, that's what matters, isn't that?"

"Yes, you're right," Tequila squeezed him tightly, then he released him. He put his hands on the kid's face and stroked it with his thumbs. 

"Are you okay?" Leo asked as he remembered why he left the hideout.

"Yes, I'm better now. I told you I would be," he smiled. 

"I couldn't get you medicine," Leo lowered his head sadly.

 _Medicine? Is Leonardo sick?_ Raph thought with a slight worry. But it soon disappeared. _Who cares?_

"It doesn't matter. I will be fine anyway."

But still... should he offer his medicine? No, he shouldn't. Why should he? Leonardo didn't give a damn about him, then why would he? 

_But what if he really needs medicine... what if this kid will be an orphan because they couldn't get medicine._

_Bullshit. I'm sure it's nothing serious._

_But what if..._

_No!_

Raph shook his head as he tried to clear his mind. He clenched his fists, as his soul was trying to talk him around. No, he won't let his inner voice to take over him!

_Think about the child. He needs his father. Even if he's the biggest asshole in the world._

"Argggh," Raph grunted, and the other two turtles looked at him. Raph looked at them too and saw a little family in them. He can't separate them because of his feelings. Yeah, he made his decision. "Ya... ya need medicine, huh? I can give ya..."

"Really?" Leo's eyes brightened. 

"We don't need it," Tequila said coldly.

"Huh?" Leo turned his head towards him. "You need it!"

"No, I don't. I am perfectly fine without _his_ medicine."

"Fine!" Raph was furious. He offered his medicine, and he refused it? Fine! He didn't care anymore! "Then don't accept it, don't care!" and with that, Raph turned around and started home.

"But..." 

"Let him go. We don't need him."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because that's the truth," Tequila stood up, took Leo's hand, and headed home, pulling the child after him. 

* * *

As they got back, Tequila took back his swords.

"No more solo mission from now on."

"Why were you so rude with Raph? He just wanted to help."

"I don't need his help," he growled.

"Why are you two like this? You are supposed to be brothers!"

"He's not my brother."

"Would you tell me why? Raph said you have to tell me."

"Why me?"

"Umm... Karai told him about our last fight... and now, he thinks that I'm your son..."

"Huh... interesting," Tequila crossed his arms. "What was his reaction?"

"Well, he was mad that you didn't tell him, but he was happy that he's an uncle."

"I'm surprised he didn't see a new enemy in you," he huffed. 

"But he sees one in you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"But why? He said pretty bad things about you. I want to know how much of it is true."

"Ooo, so I am the bad guy, and he is the poor victim brother, isn't he? I'm sure he didn't tell you what kind of person _he_ is. He's always blaming everyone else, but especially me for all his and others' problems. If a meteorite came towards the Earth, it would be my fault too!"

"You both are adult men, and you really fight like children?" Leo raised an eye ridge. 

"It's not a child fight. You don't know how hard he made my life," Tequila raised his voice.

"Yeah, I don't know because nobody wants to tell me!" Leo raised his voice too.

"Let's finish this, alright?" Tequila said calmer. "I want to rest. I'm going to sleep a bit."

"Fine," Leo replied, though he knew he would get his answers, no matter what.

* * *

A few hours later, Leo was sitting at the table, his folded hands lay on the desk. Leo didn't know how to continue. He needed answers from Tequila, but it wasn't an easy task. However, he's not that kind of boy who gives up. He didn't want to be like Tequila. He needed answers to prevent this catastrophe. He couldn't imagine that he could drift apart from his brothers this much. What could cause such hatred between them? Was it something that had to happen? Was it unstoppable? Could they prevent it if they knew about it? Or they had no chance against it? Is it something that Fate won't miss out? Will it happen with them too? Is this little trip just an inspection of the future? Is it another dimension for sure? Or Tequila is him just later? No, no. He knew that it wasn't his future. It was another dimension, and Tequila was just his counterpart. But what if his future will be like this? He didn't want this. Not at all. He couldn't let this happen, no matter what.

Suddenly, he heard steps. The lab doors slid open, and Tequila came out.

"How are you feeling?" Leo asked.

"Much better. I told you I would be fine without medicine as well."

"Yes, it looks like you're really starting to get used to being sick. That's sad. You should care more about what you eat."

"In my situation, I am lucky, if I can eat."

"You know, if you wouldn't live alone, it could be better."

"I'm not living alone. You're here," Tequila said, though he knew what Leo meant.

"You know what I mean."

"I know. However, we should leave this topic behind."

"So, you're not gonna tell me what happened, right?"

"Right. I do not wish to share this with you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're going to leave soon, you don't need to know my past. We already discussed that."

"But I would like to know," Leo insisted.

"But I wouldn't like to tell you. Understand it, please," the older turtle started to rub his temples. "You're giving me a headache."

"Then, give me a normal reason, not that that I'm leaving soon."

"Alright, you want a better reason? Fine," Tequila said slightly annoyed, while he was walking towards the table. "My past is private, so you have no right to force me to tell you. You are not my son, despite what others think. You live here temporarily, we don't know anything about each other, and I want it to stay like this. I repeat that's private, so it's none of your business," he slapped his hands on the desk and looked where he thought Leo was. "Understood?"

Leo flinched a little as Tequila hit the table, and he almost said yes. As the older turtle looked at him, accidentally their eyes met, though Tequila couldn't know it. As Leo looked into Tequila's eyes, an endless river of sorrow overflowed him. He didn't want his relationships to ruin with his brothers and friends. He didn't want the Shredder to take over the world. He didn't want Karai to betray him. He didn't want the world to be like this. But most importantly, he didn't want to be like him.

"In fact, it certainly is my business," Leo said slowly.

"What do you mean?" Tequila asked confused.

"…There's something you should know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have some minutes, please review :)

**Author's Note:**

> HeyHo~   
> This is my first story here. I hope you'll enjoy and sorry for the mistakes :)


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